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I observe a world where the only thing we can guarantee is nothing will be the same. I think I enjoy this chaos nature. It wasn’t something I always embraced. I still observe my tendency to control. That last bit of effort to make things feel as if they’ll be better once I decide how it should be. I’m realizing I miss out a lot on life when I do this. Protecting myself from the pain or struggles gets exhausting. Ironically, I realize it would have been easier to show up for the lesson and take the bruises. ...

A man walks in front of me. Blocking my path forward, his intent to deliver his message is clear. Wearing no shirt, his skin is tanned and wrinkled from the many months and years he’s spent in the sun. Covered in dirt, likely from going without a shower for days from sleeping in the street. His posture and stature is bent forward as if he could collapse any moment. He motions an empty hand to his mouth, and in English he opens his mouth with the few teeth he has left to say one word, ...

It’s barely 8pm, but here I am, laying in bed trying to sleep. I’m covered in sweat, occasionally being bitten by unidentified insects. The air, so thick with heat, makes it challenging to breath. My bed for the night is in a guestroom in the back of a typical family home in Moyogalpa, Nicaragua. This tiny town sits on the west side of an island formed by two volcanos in the Lake of Nicaragua. The island is called Ometepe, which in Nahuatl means “Two Mountains”. ...

If you’ve spent any length of time with me over the past few months you already knew. It’s been a very complicated decision that I’ve given a lot of thought. It wasn’t easy. I had an amazing boss, great pay, benefits, downtown office with snacks (precovid). The ideal dream job, I saw for myself in San Francisco. Living the tech life I had envisioned for so long. It wasn’t given to me. It was a struggle and fight to get to this point. I sacrificed a lot, spending so much time and money to improve my skills and experience needed to be marketable. It took a while, and a few times I didn’t think I was ever going to make it in the bay area. Eventually, I brought myself up to a level where I was capable of working with some of the most brilliant minds I’ve ever encountered. ...

One night in Kansas City, I’d made a trip to a restaurant on the way back home to pick up dinner. I parked in the parking lot and walked in to get my order. As I returned to my car with my acquired meal I got into my drivers seat. As I was getting in and as I reach to put on my seat belt, I experienced an odd event occuing in the corner of my eye. I observed what felt like my car rolling forward. ...

The youngest I remember an interest in baseball, I was 7. I was never that into it I guess. I liked collecting the baseball cards and was intrigued to understand the stats even though I never really did. I was more curious about the sport than passionate, but I still loved to go to a live game. Around the mid 90’s my Dad would take me to see the Shreveport Captains play at Fair Grounds Field. It was a pretty awesome memory. I’d start asking myself questions and that turned to asking my dad questions. ...

Growing up as a kid in Louisiana I knew dirt. I played in the mud and swamps of the surrounding bayous. I remember experiencing curious thoughts. Wondering how old this land was. I could feel its age. The observation was undeniable despite my youth and nativity. As I would grow older I’d learn that earth had been there for a very long time. While the amount of time is not really known, one could be safe saying 3 million years at the minimal for any land in North America. (https://www.britannica.com/place/North-America/The-lowlands)) ...

Lack of community and contentment has been my greatest challenge over the past year. While the pandemic fueled a lot of this, deciding to not renew my SF lease and nomad with a vague plan didn’t help either. This road can be pretty lonely. Meeting amazing people over and over helps. You do develop rapport deeply and quickly. Yet, you’re constantly saying goodbye, crashing off the high. It’s the price for sharing a piece of life with so many people who are inspiring, highly motivated, and full of energy. Then the moments go by where there are few people to fill the void. Finding moments where your only retreat is what stillness you can find in the mind. ...